When I was seven
years old, I loved playing volleyball.
At that time it was my favorite sport. My parents had called many
different volleyball clubs to inquire about tryouts. They said the were not taking younger kids,
they would only take kids in middle school or higher. As a result of that, I got interested in
other sports like soccer and softball.
And until this day I still play soccer and softball, for clubs and high
school. I still like volleyball but
soccer and softball are my favorite sports.
These sports have helped me become the person that I am today.
The first reason soccer and softball
made me who I am today is because I met people that have became my best and
closest friends. Even my parents have
made some good friends. My family and I
hang out more with my sports teams than I do with my friends from school. My teammates and I just share this special
bond that makes us really close. These
are my friends that I have had for the longest time and I hope to stay friends
with them for a long time. Even when we
don’t have games our families still get together. My sports friends and I have
been through so much together. At games
we need to trust and rely on each other.
Allowing them to become my close friends has helped me to be my real self
around them without worrying that they are judging or saying bad things about
me. When I am around them there is
nothing stopping us. I will do anything
around them and for them. If they ever
are in need of anything or they need help I will be right by there. I’ll always be by their side because I know
that if I ever need help they will always be there for me; like so many times
during our games.
The
second reason my sports have helped shape me in to the person that I am today
is that sports have taught me to become more disciplined. Everyday is a routine, breakfast, school,
homework, practice, and then again homework.
Since my time is limited I even have to do some homework in the car and
days I don’t have homework, my parents want me to read. Although I don’t love reading, I know that I
should. I am very busy traveling to
school and sports that I have to make the most of my time. It also gives me a chance to talk with my
parents and grandparents in the car and catch up.
Lastly, my sports have changed me
because since I started I have gone on many different trips. Just this year alone I went on 4 trips, one
to the mainland and three inter-island trips.
When I was younger I went one of my trips without my parents and while I
was up there I realized how much I missed my parents. As the years have gone by I have gone on
several trips without my parents and I didn’t miss my parents as much. This has helped me because I experienced what
it is like to travel and be by myself without a parent with me. When I started traveling by myself at first it
was pretty hard I had to pack and do everything alone. Now I can pack and get every thing ready
fairly easily. From these experiences I
have grown and have gotten more mature. The trips I have taken by myself have
helped me to prepare for the future because when the time comes I am now opened
to going to college in the mainland.
Before high school I told my parents that I wanted to stay home and
attend the University of Hawaii. Now I
see that being open and growing I will hopefully have more opportunities.
In conclusion, as you can see my sports
have made a big impact to my life. With
out them, there are many things that I wouldn’t have done before I wouldn’t
have done many things that I do know, and I am more willing to take a chance
being able to rely on my sport families.
My family and I have met, and made some really good friends. It also helped me to learn what it will be like
in the real world when I get older. I
will have to be by myself with out my parents guiding me and telling me what to
do but I look forward to the experiences.
In the future, I will be able to do things on my own because of these
experiences. I am very grateful that I
was able to go on all of these trips meet people and to grow up because of
sports.
Dior! :)
ReplyDeleteI liked reading your essay on how you are growing up! Volleyball is still better than softball and soccer. Anyways... I really liked how your essay specifically told me how you are growing from this experience.
Some of the things I feel you could change or improve on in your essay is to make your essay not with transitions to start off your paragraph. Instead of using transition words, you should just make it like your telling a story of which you are. My advice for you is to re-read your essay and catch some of your spelling and grammer errors. I also saw in your first 2 paragraphs you reused some of the same words in the same sentence and I feel that you could change it. Anyways... You did a good job writing your "Coming OF Age" essay and can't wait to see the final product! :)
Hi dior!! your blog was good and interesting to read! It was great that you included how you became closer to your friends and family playing soccer and softball. To make it a better essay, I think you should've used more creative transition words rather than, "first, second, lastly, and in conclusion." Try things like: additionally, consequently, therefore, etc. Also, your story would be more impacting if you told stories about your past and use more sensory things. Well, even though your still a little kid, I can see how you have come of age.
ReplyDeleteYou have a good story to show how you have grown from it. However, your first paragraph about making friends doesnt really show how you have grown from it. Yes, you leave no doubt that you made really good friends from sports but what has it taught you or what have you learned. Then the body paragraph on traveling and packing, you say that it has helped you become more mature...But how? You say that you can pack easily now but how has going on trips changed you or what have you learned from traveling.
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