Writing Standards S1 portfolio

Hello Mom or Dad,

    This portfolio is all about the writings that we have done in the first semester.  After you look at my website please answer these following questions:

1. What piece of writing did you like best in my portfolio and why?
2. What did you like about my portfolio and sharing and what would you like to see me improve on?
3. Which of the writing traits (ideas, organization, voice, word choice) do you feel was most successful for me?
4. Which of the traits of writing would you like me to improve on in the coming semester?

website: http://diormo97.wix.com/writingsstandards

angry letter

Ross dress for less

98-1005 Moanalua Road

Aiea, Hawaii, 96701

Dear Ross administration,

My friends, family, and I really enjoy your store.  You have very good prices, and a big variety of clothing and other accessories.  That is the reason why my friends, family, and I keep coming back.

However, every time we go there, there has been a few problems that can be easily fixed.  Every time we go there and we are trying to look for an item, it is nowhere in sight it I see it else where in the store. Along with that, not only are there things everywhere, there are clothes and appliances on the ground.  When you walk there is no pathway you have to walk around and avoid things that are on the ground. Also, since there are things on the ground people probably just step on it and then you r items will be all dirty and it isn’t good to be sold. Along with your supplies being dirty, if you leave it on the ground it is also a fire hazard.  If there are things on the ground people can trip and hurt themselves.

I know that you guys are trying your best to keep this store clean and all. But to make things better you can get your staff members out there so that they can clean it and put it back on there shelves an back to there sections.  If you can’t do this with the workers you have then maybe you should hire more workers so that your store can be top notch and more people will come.

Through this all, your staff members are very nice and helpful.  If we ever needed anything we were able to ask and direct us to where the items where and if it wasn’t there they would ask someone else where it was. To help your workers out you should better organize your store.

I have no problems with your store.  But I fell that you should change these little things so your store will become even better then it is now.

Sincerely,

Dior Motas

            

risky business

           Teens would do anything to fit in like some weed and drink alcohol.  Since they are illegal they turn to things like household items.  People may think that abusing household items aren’t bad for you because they aren’t illegal.  Little do they know that it is just as bad.  Using household items are just like doing drugs and drinking alcohol because it has the same effects on you.

            First off, abusing household items can cause you to get many health problems.  Some health problems you may get are: lightheaded, dizziness, slurred speech, euphoria, and hallucinations.  In an article is stated that with continued use of household items you may lose consciousness or even death.  It also said that if you do not die from abusing household items you can become brain damaged or have kidney failures.

            In addition, not only can it cause you health problems, but it’s also really easy to get. Also, since the 1890’s the abuse of household items has increased steadily.  The reason for that is because it is cheap easy to get and it’s legal.  To do this all you have to do is look in your closets at home and it will be right there.  Also, since this is legal to do teens aren’t afraid of getting caught.  The people that do this the most are teens from 12-17 since it is easily accessible at home.  The household items they abuse are: cough syrup, hand sanitizer, nutmeg, spray paint, gasoline, household cleaners and many more.

            Although this is starting to be a problem, not many people know about it and think its no big deal.  One reason for that is because since it is legal they don’t think that it is bad and that it won’t do any harm to you.  For instance, people think that abusing household items are better then doing meth and alcohol.  But like I said earlier they have the same effect on your body.  Lastly, people think its not a problem because they would never suspect their child abusing household items.

            In conclusion, as you can see kids would do anything just to fit in.  They do dumb things like smoke weed drink alcohol and abuse household items not knowing the effects that it has on your body.  They think that everything will be fine and nothing will happen to their bodies.  But little by little their body is breaking and at any moment they can die.  Don’t be dumb and waste your life on drugs and alcohol.

            

Vocab Picture

college essay rough draft

            In my life there are many things that interest me.  But the main thing that interest me is soccer.  I have been playing soccer since I was 7 years old.  Soccer had mad a huge impact on my life.  Soccer has been my favorite sport from the beginning.  The first time I played soccer, I played for AYSO it wasn’t really competitive, but at that age sports weren’t really competitive.  Then as the years went by and I got older is started playing for a club called Real.  But a little later they merged with a team called rush, which is the team I am currently playing for.  I am apart of the Hawaii Rush 98 girls nike team.  I have been with them for about four years now.  Playing with this team has impacted me and helped me to become a better person.  The first reason soccer has impacted my life is because since it is a team sport, you have to learn to work together and like each other no matter what.  In life you will have to know how to work as a team.  Another reason is because since I started playing soccer for a competitive team, you have to be able to manage your time very well.  Since you have practice a lot and games every weekend, you have to make sure that you do your homework whenever you have free time.  You will also need to sacrifice many things like hanging out with your friends on the weekends because you have to do homework or because you have an important game or tournament coming up.  Managing your time is just helping you to prepare you for high school and life in the future, because for high school when you play a sport you will have practice everyday of the week and sometimes on the weekends, and games almost every weekend. And if you don’t keep your grades up then you won’t be able to play.  I know these things because last year as a freshman I tried out for the high school soccer team.  I was one of the lucky ones to make the varsity team.  That had taught me that managing your time is important because if you want to play then you will have to maintain your grades.  Soccer has also helped me because playing for this competitive team has made me a better player mentally and physically.  Soccer has helped me to improve as a person because it has taught me that I am not the only person that matters to get through in life you have to work together to conquer the tough times.  It has also helped me mentally because in soccer when times get tough and you just feel like stopping and giving up, you just keep pushing through it and give 100% and leave it all out on the field even if you are tired.

word choice graphic

A  young girl laughs with her brother while holding her pacifier in her hand.  She immitates her brother as he gives her a silly face.

college essay question

San Jose StateUniversity

http://www.sjsu.edu/

California State University Fullerton

http://www.fullerton.edu/

University of Washington

http://www.washington.edu/

University of Oregon
http://www.uoregon.edu/

University of Oregon essay information:

The UO is interested in learning more about you. Write an essay of 500 words or less that shares information that we cannot find elsewhere on your application. Any topic you choose is welcome. Some ideas you might consider include your future ambitions and goals, a special talents or unusual interest that sets you apart from your peers, or a significant experience that influenced your life.

coming of age draft

coming of age draft

         When I was seven years old, I loved playing volleyball.  At that time it was my favorite sport. My parents had called many different volleyball clubs to inquire about tryouts.  They said the were not taking younger kids, they would only take kids in middle school or higher.  As a result of that, I got interested in other sports like soccer and softball.  And until this day I still play soccer and softball, for clubs and high school.  I still like volleyball but soccer and softball are my favorite sports.  These sports have helped me become the person that I am today.

         The first reason soccer and softball made me who I am today is because I met people that have became my best and closest friends.  Even my parents have made some good friends.  My family and I hang out more with my sports teams than I do with my friends from school.  My teammates and I just share this special bond that makes us really close.  These are my friends that I have had for the longest time and I hope to stay friends with them for a long time.  Even when we don’t have games our families still get together. My sports friends and I have been through so much together.  At games we need to trust and rely on each other.  Allowing them to become my close friends has helped me to be my real self around them without worrying that they are judging or saying bad things about me.  When I am around them there is nothing stopping us.  I will do anything around them and for them.  If they ever are in need of anything or they need help I will be right by there.  I’ll always be by their side because I know that if I ever need help they will always be there for me; like so many times during our games.

The second reason my sports have helped shape me in to the person that I am today is that sports have taught me to become more disciplined.  Everyday is a routine, breakfast, school, homework, practice, and then again homework.  Since my time is limited I even have to do some homework in the car and days I don’t have homework, my parents want me to read.  Although I don’t love reading, I know that I should.  I am very busy traveling to school and sports that I have to make the most of my time.  It also gives me a chance to talk with my parents and grandparents in the car and catch up.

         Lastly, my sports have changed me because since I started I have gone on many different trips.  Just this year alone I went on 4 trips, one to the mainland and three inter-island trips.  When I was younger I went one of my trips without my parents and while I was up there I realized how much I missed my parents.  As the years have gone by I have gone on several trips without my parents and I didn’t miss my parents as much.  This has helped me because I experienced what it is like to travel and be by myself without a parent with me.  When I started traveling by myself at first it was pretty hard I had to pack and do everything alone.  Now I can pack and get every thing ready fairly easily.  From these experiences I have grown and have gotten more mature. The trips I have taken by myself have helped me to prepare for the future because when the time comes I am now opened to going to college in the mainland.  Before high school I told my parents that I wanted to stay home and attend the University of Hawaii.  Now I see that being open and growing I will hopefully have more opportunities.

         In conclusion, as you can see my sports have made a big impact to my life.  With out them, there are many things that I wouldn’t have done before I wouldn’t have done many things that I do know, and I am more willing to take a chance being able to rely on my sport families.  My family and I have met, and made some really good friends.  It also helped me to learn what it will be like in the real world when I get older.  I will have to be by myself with out my parents guiding me and telling me what to do but I look forward to the experiences.  In the future, I will be able to do things on my own because of these experiences.  I am very grateful that I was able to go on all of these trips meet people and to grow up because of sports.

blog changes

I made a few changes to my blog.  One of the changes i made were that I changed my title to "think about it."  Another change that I made was that I changed the background color to rainbow.  The reason for that is because now my background stands out more and because I like colors.  Another thing that I changed was my picture, before I didn't have a picture but know I have a picture and they know what I look like.  The last thing i changed was the I archived my blog just by the years.

mini essay

I believe that it is the people or tourist fault because the state put up signs warning them about the dangers about going there.  So if they go there it will be at their own risk, and if anything happens to them it will be their fault because the state had warned them.  It would also be their fault because in the article because David Potts disappeared while at one Maui’s popular Nakalele point blowhole even though there was a sign warning that the blowhole was dangerous.  It is also a common sense thing by the people because that guy David was dancing around the blowhole then he got knocked by a big wave into the blow hole, and that is why people tell you to never turn your back to the ocean.  Also in this article, another guy died because he had a lack of common sense.  He went to the Halona blowhole and straddled the blowhole and it let out and he went 3-5 feet in the air.  In conclusion, the state should not be at fault for what those people did it was their own fault they did it at their own risk.   

http://www.wix.com/diormo97/glo-portfolio


Here is a link to my Glo portfolio.  This is all the work that we have done in the past year.  Please answer this question.




"What did you learn about your child's achievements and experiences in Menemac this past year?"

Coney island life: REDO

     In the poem Coney Island Life by James I. Weil, it is about hoe life is an amusment park.  It is like an amnusment park because just like roller coasters, us people have our ups and downs in life.  We have our ups when  we are having good times, and spending time with your family and friends.  You have your downs when you are having problems and you are struggling in life.

     The words planet carousel stood out to me because I have never seen any words or seen any picture like that before.  To me it means that life is like a planet and a carousel, that we keep spinning.  And keep going on for ever long we can.  It also stood out to me because planets are very interesting to me and I like to learn about them.  And i like carousels they are fun to ride on going up and down and going in circles for a fun ride.

     The figurative comparison that I found in this poem was ' and see my helium hopes break skyward without me."  To me this meant that they are comparing that to your dreams flying away without you because they are relating the helium hopes to the balloons.  This also meant that your dreams are flying away wihtout you because either you are letting them go because you can't hold on to them any longer.  Or that on accident somebody cut the string and the balloons got loose and flew away without you actually being able to achieve your dream.

     Roller Coaster ups and downs were also a figurative comparison because they are comparing things to one another.  They are comparing the roller coasters and the ups and downs to your life how there are good times and rough times.   We are having ups when like I said before, when you are with your friends and family and having a good time alos just having fun.  And like I said before you have your downs when your are struggling and having problems in life.

     In conclousion, life is like an amusment having their ups and donws.  Through the good times and the hard times no matter what you will get thorugh life without problems.  Sooner or later your problems will just drift away and life would be easy.